It's been forever, hasn't it?
I realize reading over my latest posts that they are rather glum. I was entering a room of little sunshine except I didn't realize it. Sadness and loss is an interesting thing. There is brightness at the other side, except you can't see the other side from a room without windows.
The unfolding of events since my last post was a recipe for depression. I stood at the rabbit hole and then I sank almost to the bottom of it. With the help of friends, prayer, and a thread of hope I gathered strength to make changes in my life which had previously SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. Sometimes the fear of change is too great...the stakes too high, the losses too many. Or at least this is how you imagine it will be. You continue trying to get out of the rabbit hole by making changes but not the Big Change that you are still avoiding. You struggle along until one day you have a seizure or some gawd awful thing that wakes you the hell up and you finally realize you need to make the Big Change or you will die emotionally or physically.
So I woke up and left my husband of 20 something years. I did not leave him for greener pastures. I left him so I could restore my health ( long story and this is not an ex-husband-bashing-blog after all). Thus, my journey of truth began.
Many blessings came my way once I faced my truth. Actually, it felt more like blessings started crashing into me. People! gather your strength and face your truth. It is sooo worth it. If only I had known...
Thanks first to God, the Almighty for preventing my heart from becoming bitter. Bitterness , I think, would be the worst thing of all.
Thanks to my Support Crew during my time in the rabbit hole.
N - for your unwavering faith and for helping me at my weakest moment.
P- For checking in on me at those very moments that I needed to be checked in on.
B- You were only beginning to to show the good friend that you were to become. You turned toward me in my worst moments, instead of turning away. That support was the beginning of a good friendship.
C- For making me laugh and lighting things up
M-for all things practical and legal.
There you have it.
“When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.”
― C.S. Lewis
122 Artist, Gardener and Activist Renee Garner
14 hours ago