Treherne Revisited

On this day a year ago I ran my first full marathon. Six years ago on this day I ran what my coach at the time said would have been a PB had it not been for the pouring rain and slogging through muck. What I remember about both those runs is the training and the determination... and wonder where did it go and why has it gone for so long? These are the thoughts as I prepare to leave for today's Treherne experience. Truth be told I registered only a few days ago because of a promise to the Beer Fairies I would return the favour this year (its not as bad as it sounds).

It seems for a year I have been running while patiently waiting for my determination and goals to return. If there was a race for aimless running I would win it. One has to examine a slump that lasts this long. Maybe it is due to a bit of depression? That is not entirely right because life is full and rewarding in many areas and I am not hiding under the covers avoiding life. However, there is a certain underlying stress that has been there for awhile...a long while perhaps. According to the author of The Black Swan book ( has nothing to do about the movie) it is easier to manage a huge loss all at once, than to suffer little consistent ones over a long period of time. Its seems to fit and maybe somehow it is related to this lack of drive, the dry spell. The drought.

A friend recently said, we're going to suck today out there on the course. It makes me laugh but he is right. In some ways it isn't much fun running the same route and feeling weaker than you did in the past, but I am going to try to embrace the moment. Maybe this race will be the turnaround moment...the one that jolts me out of the slump and gets me training and dreaming about future races again. Although the motivation for today's race is to return the beer favour, it really is about hope.

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Now I feel guilty about whining on this day of all days. 9/11 is a day to look outside of oneself. Just realized that.